In the spirit of true camaraderie and sisterhood, our office has this thing which we refer to as, The Logbook. Yes, my dear blogfriends. It is not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill logbook. The Logbook has special powers. It has the power to improve one’s communication skills….after getting dissed, of course. (rolls in laughter)
Oh my god! When The Logbook was conceptualized, it was to chronicle, poke fun and laugh at one’s verbal diarrhea and booboos. Much like Nastypen’s “It Came From the Next Cubicle” series. Everyone became veeeery cautious and careful with the fear of being immortalized in The Logbook. However, in the long run, (cue cheesy, victorious musical score to emphasize profundity of the next line) it became a serious reference for us not to repeat the same mistakes and it has become our guide to self-improvement on the aspect of communications skills…(cue record scratch)…but of course, we still roll in laughter and turn beet red and have dyspepsia. This is the entire Training and Consulting Unit:
From me (the crazy one in black): Lorna (Admin Officer), Nilda (M&E Diva), Weng (Secondary Training Diva), Reno (DOH Sentrong Sigla Goddess), Genie (Unit Assistant), Tyo Paeng (Accounting Heartthrob and author of “Tambayan ni Paeng” blog), Wena (Knowledge Channel host), Aying (Desktop Publishing Princess and Sarah Geronimo fan), Eric (The Ultimate Goddess kc sya ang aming Manager. hahaha), and Nyl (Program Officer-Beauconerang Ilongga).
Here are some of the most infamous and classic booboos ever made:
During the pilot run of the FP Educators Training Modules in Baguio, Secondary Training Diva, Weng, was in front explaining how to present FP concepts in slides:
Weng: You have to create key messages that drive home the point. Be concise and exact. Remember to BULLET PROOF your messages.
Me: (snickering and turning red)
Dodging Bullets 2
Our Program Manager-slash-Goddess, Eric, was facilitating a consultative workshop on the finalization of our manual on How to Install FP Programs in the Workplace:
DOH Consultant: The presentation of the options is too text heavy.
DOLE Consultant: I agree.
Everyone nods in agreement.
Eric: (in his full Facilitator-Goddess stature) Okay. We will BULLETIZE the concepts…
Me and Weng looking at each other from accross the table, almost spitting from forcing back our laughter.
The Dreaded “Counters”
Okay. I have been immortalized in The Logbook with the “Gonna be” counter. After careful tallying from Sycip Gorres & Velayo, I ended up saying 27 “gonna be’s” after a 1-hour module. Damn!!! I’m gonna be sick…(slaps forehead and exclaims ala Homer Simpson) Dooohp!
Chick, Check, Cheque
Nyl, Program Officer-slash-Beauconerang Ilonggo, and I were on our way to the smoking area when we run into a staff from the Finance Unit.
Nyl: Hoy, Amy! Prepared na ba yung cash advance namin?
Amy: Oo, kunin mo sa taas.
Nyl: So, may CHIKI na?
Me: (laughing) CHIKI talaga? As in CHIKIN JOY??? (laughing)
Nyl: Punyeta. Teka. (seriously turns to Amy who was laughing also) What I meant was, ready na ba ang CHIK?
Amy and I roll in laughter while Nyl stomps his foot
Nyl: Leche, mali pa rin!!!
These are just some of our kagagahans. However, The Logbook will never be complete without its star, The Logbook Diva, our Project Assistant, MJ! He refers to himself as a “3B” (Bisayang Bobitang Bakla. Hahahahaha!).
Oh, our unit, the Training and Consulting Group has never been the same with the arrival of this fabulous 3B (rightmost wearing a blue muscle tee). Here are some of her (“her” talaga??? hahahaha!) classic moments:
How to Be A Winner
All of us eating during lunch.
Nyl: Huy Jerome! Nakita ko si Ryan ng PCCI sa PRISM kanina. Yung crush mo?
Me: Uy talaga? Cute pa rin?
Nyl: Haaay naku. Girlash na girlash na.
Eric: (to me) ayan, gurl! pwede mo nang landiin talaga!
MJ: Kurak! The more you chance…(stops thinking that it’s wrong. everyone waits in anticipation)…the more you…(triumphantly) go na, mare! THE MORE YOU CHANCE, THE MORE YOU WIN!
Everyone sheds tears while laughing. Eric spewed his rice across the table.
MJ to us during afternoon break.
MJ: Oy, mga mare. Ako ang maglalagay ng coke sa mga baso nyo.
Me: Wow! Thanks, gurl!
MJ gives us all glasses with coke. He raises his glass to us.
MJ: Mga mare, CHERS!
MJ: Mga punyeta kayo! Teka lang, ulit. (raises glass) TOOST!
Me literally rolling in laughter.
MJ’s Encounters with Mikael the American
MJ rushing to me at the smoking area.
MJ: Mare, mare! Nagkasalubong kami ni Papa Mikael kanina!!! Shet, ang gwapo talaga!
Me: (laughing) Don’t tell me nag-usap kayo?
MJ: Oo naman, mare. Muntik na nga dumugo ilong ko eh. Pero mukhang tama naman ang mga sinabi ko. Hahahahaha!
Me: o, ano ang napag-usapan nyo?
MJ: Kasi ganito yan, nakita ko sya sa malayo magkakasalubong kami. Practice na ko nang practice, mare! (me laughing) Tapos nung magkatapat kami, smile ako, tapos sabi ko…”Hi!”
Me: Hahahaha! Eh ano ang sabi?
MJ: Sabi nya…”Hi!” (kilig)
Me: O tapos, ano sabi mo?
MJ: Sabi ko…”WARE you going?”
Me: Ware talaga, bakla? Hahahaha! Ano sabi nya?
MJ: Sabi nya…”Somewhere…”
Me: (wittily to MJ) As in…OVER THE RAINBOW???
MJ: (laughs and wittily retorts) Hindi noh…THE ROAD.
Me: Hahahahahaha! Bakla, kulang! As in SOMEWHERE THE ROAD??? (sings Barry Manilow’s song without the word “DOWN”)
Haaay. I was laughing while writing this entry. I hope you enjoyed reading it. The nice thing about MJ, and his equivalent at home in the person of my fag hag, Joy, is that they are a good sport and they ask for the CORRECT versions of things. Talk about learning while having a blast, right? hahahahaha! Read also this entry which I wrote a long time ago about fag hag, Joy…