The 1st Bridget Jones Awards!

Yes!  I just came home from my honeymoon in Davao City and I thought of giving out the first of a series of awards to exemplary individuals in the Philippines.  And for that, I give out the first award:

Bridget Jones awards this Certified Eksenadora Award to….(fanfare)


 Antonio Trillanes! 

You truly are a scene-stealer!  You have taken away the romance out of my honeymoon and and destroyed the wedding reception in the hotel that day.  You truly deserve this award.

And other special awards from our sponsors, of course:

Certified Abnormal Award for truly believing that you have done nothing wrong by taking hostage an entire hotel. – sash and gift pack from the National Center for Mental Health

Hotelier of the Year Award for choosing another hotel to use as a venue.  Last year it was Oakwood.  At least you make revolution fabulous!  Four snaps to you, gurl! May taste ka, in fairness!

King of Delusions Award for thinking that you were REALLY voted by 11 million people because they believe in you. And that you went there because it was the CALL OF THE PEOPLE.  Well, I am one of the People and I don’t remember calling you, sweetie.  Oh, and you commending the “bravery” of the media people for “standing up for truth, justice, and freedom”….yup.  Getting the scoop had absolutely nothing to do with it. scepter and crown and gift pack from Never-Neverland

The Idol ko si GMA Award for saying that you “will not leave the hotel even if it would mean death” and still deciding to leave after all.  Very GMA of you when she said she will not run yet she still ran for presidency?   At least you did it twice!  Oakwood Mutiny you said you will not surrender, thank-you girl ka na naman. This year, thank-you girl ka ulit.  You should be thankful that I made these awards possible, mare!

and the prestigious Honorary Gay Man Award for staging this grand production number, using the media as your pawns.  I have to say, that was really clever!  And the script was fascinating!  Waiting for the police to give you the tear gas and them wrecking the hotel lobby with a tank and showing us how the government can easily use violence despite the presence of journalists who were there to serve the Filipino people and NOT TO JUST GET AN EXCLUSIVE. Great writing!  I bet the tank was not in the script but made the story more…visceral.  This award was a tough call because you did nothing to Ces Drilon who staged a fashion and style coup d’etat with her permed locks secured by a hideous headband during the entire production number. – Huge Australian bouquet from gay men around the world

CONGRATULATIONS, SIR!  We salute you for these awards!  Truly an example to the Filipino people…(oh just a reminder, we are 86 million in our country.  you may be “voted” by 11 million, but your responsbility as Certified Eksenadora is to the entire 86 million Filipinos.  It is un-Queenly of you to exclude those who did not vote for you.  Remember that as you become the Queen-bitch in Selda Trese.)

NOTE:  I am not pro-Gloria.  Which makes you, Sen. Trillanes, more deserving of these awards! You go, gurl!

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10 Responses to The 1st Bridget Jones Awards!

  1. Atticus says:

    hahaha. this is the funniest take i’ve read so far about the events last friday, jerome. congratulations.

    and thank you for making me smile. your writing is like a breath of fresh air. salamat, salamat, for reminding me that i have to have a bit of humor everyday.

  2. Lani says:

    very well said, hahaha.

  3. Jennie says:

    Hay naku, sistah-gurl… naloka din ako nung napanood ko ito sa Sky News… bruhilda talaga si Trillanes! Ang epal sobra!

    I hope you had fun during your honeymoon regardless of the drama that Trillanes caused…

  4. Zherwin says:

    sana di na lang tear gas ang inihagis sa kanila, kamatis na lang sana o di kaya itlog na bugok. ang lolo mo talaga, naturingang sundalo (o marine ba sya) di marunong magplano! isa syang KSP!

  5. Dylan Gozum says:

    Someone give that guy a lobotomy (if he hasn’t gotten one yet).

  6. duke says:

    ay ano bang nanyare na naman?

  7. reyna elena says:

    HAHAHA!!! napadaan lang! LOVE IT!!! Did you find anyone yet to award that to him, coz I am sooooo wanting these awards na isubo sa bunganga nya! hahahaha

  8. Ann says:

    Hi! napadaan lang and nakakaaliw itong entry na ito! Sinabi mo ang nilalaman ng aking puso, esp. this part “This award was a tough call because you did nothing to Ces Drilon who staged a fashion and style coup d’etat with her permed locks secured by a hideous headband during the entire production number”

  9. ajay says:

    Hahaha, ang galing naman nito Bridget….the sound of sarcasm and irony fills the air. Glad to have met you at the Mario’s party! You were absolutelyf&ckin beautifulllll, radiant and natalbugan ang beauty ko *heh* Miss you 2!!!

  10. Lani says:

    Dear, happy holidays!!!

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