Surgeon General’s Warning: Cute Guys Can Be Dangerous to Your Health…and Life

Ugh.  I know!  Starting off with the cutest and the fairest of them all:  my Mark Darcy!  He’s bad for my health…in a good way (naughtily smiles).  Anyway, I just came home from Bohol and something happened that made me do a rundown of instances where I got hurt…and I am not being figurative. (hahahahaha)  Read on!

Cute Guy No. 1, Location:  Emerald Ave., Ortigas

I just came from a meeting at Wynsum Plaza and I decided to walk my way to Megamall.  Was texting while walking when I looked up and lo and behold!  Approaching me was a cute guy:  mestiso, 5’8″, wearing an ash gray shirt over black flatfront pants.  He was really handsome so i had to deliberately brush my left shoulder on his when he passed me.  I turned around and true enough…he has a nice….(KA-BLAG!)….I crashed into a blue PHONE BOOTH and I saw stars.

Cute Guy No. 2, Location:  Waterfront Hotel, Lahug, Cebu City

There was a conference at Waterfront. I was the head of the documentation team and I had to blow off some steam and smoked at the far end of the hotel.  After 2 sticks, I headed back to the conference area.  I passed by the hotel gym and I was struck by this cute guy in black shorts and heavily wrapped fists.  5’10-5’11”, well-defined, sweaty body, doing some punching bag action, I continued walking away but I am mesmerized by this yummy adonis with a big…(klaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnng!!!!)…I hit a LAMP POST, the clanging sound echoed and everyone looked at me.  I looked at the cute boxer, he was looking at me as well.  That’s the first time I stopped someone from what they’re doing.  Tucked my imaginary hair, let out a sweet smile, and walked away…

Cute guy No. 3, Location:  Intramuros, Manila

I was on my way home and took the Lyceum route.  Then I saw this 6-foot tall, bald guy who reminded me of Bamboo with the intense eyes and delicious…(splaaaaaaaaash!)…I fell in an imburnal filled with icky, yucky, murky water.  Students were laughing when I looked up.  Cloud callout:  Leche kayong lahat, masira sana ang kinabukasan nyo.

Cute Guy No. 4, Location:  Intramuros, Manila

I was on my way home taking the Lyceum route.  Then I saw this cute guy who looked like Uma Khouni, with a naughty smile, big biceps, and a big….(BLAGAAAAAAG!)…I got hit by a parked bus. (cries)

Cute Guy No. 5, Location:  Tagbilaran City, Bohol

I flew to Bohol last August 10.  My colleague, Chellow, and I geared up to go to BQ Mall.  From the hotel, I was about to cross the street when this hunky daddy caught my eye at the other side of the street.  As if hypnotized with his yumminess, I started crossing the street, this motorcycle sped by and the side mirror caught my left arm.  (cries)  Chelow rolled in laughter.  So off we went to BQ Mall.  There was this group of 4 cute students who were so adorable and so gwapito…(BLAAAAAAG)…I hit the glass door.  (sobs and wails)

Now, my theory has been validated.  (Cue maldita reader:  Gaga, karma yan!)  Cheh! (walks out)