Bridget’s Advice to the Philippine Idol Hopefuls

COMMERCIAL:   Don’t forget to read my most recent post on the different ways to moan during sex before reading this, blogfriends!!!

Okay, now back to our program.  Welcome to my first blog ever on Philippine Idol.  I am a huge fan of the show and I have said this time and again…I am frustrated that I am 32 years old and do not qualify to at least audition for Philippine Idol.  So here I am, just gonna critique the overall performance of the remaining Idol hopefuls and give them advice.  But first, I have a general question:  Does Philippine Idol provide a stylist and a coach for the Idol hopefuls?  Does Ryan Agoncillo have a stylist, and if so, who is s/he because he is not well put together?  Will Idol still bring back Francis M?  (Sana wag na.  I love the guest judges who are considered as “experts” in their fields.  Bravo)  I hope someone educates me on this. 

Anyway, here’s my advice to the last seven standing (or more apropos, “singing”):

Jan Nieto…singing La Vida Loca…in black sando and tight pants…donning his kayumanggi skin, well-toned arms, chest, and flat tummy…now we saw Jan’s package!  (giggles and smiles at Jove)  What can I say?  You surprised me too, Jan (you did a lot to me that night, believe me. *wipes off sweat*).  It was not a perfect performance.  But what’s important is:  it was a HOT performance.  And that’s what you need to do…perform sexy songs that would speak to the loins…of both men and women. I think you have to start to re-strategize on how to divert the attention of the viewers and judges from your mediocre-oftentimes-lackluster voice to your overall package and performance. (I just love using the word “package” on you, Jan) REMEMBER:  It’s all about the visual…

Pow sang “Got to Be Real”.  Loved the overall performance, pow.  Although I have to agree with Mr. C, it is now time to re-invent yourself.  When Ryan announced that the theme is club gimmick, I expected you to do the thing that you have been doing for the longest time: showband performance.  I think you need to re-strategize in terms of song choice and styling.  You may still choose not to wear high heels like what Mamita keeps shoving to your face (Mamita tama na!).  Remember, you can still express your sexuality without cross-dressing.  I think with the re-invention in your style, your song choice will come naturally after.  That’s a promise. 

Miguel, what can I say?  Finish high school, sweetie.  And start exploring your sexuality. 

Ken sang “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and I am sorry but it was not a signed, sealed, delivered performance, Ken.  You were not able to hit the notes due to your inability to control the vibrato of your voice. You cannot dance obviously and the costume…honey, please do not justify the outfit to me!  You were a cross between a pimp who has the style of a scarecrow and a badly dressed drag queen on crack who cruises the back alleys of the Bronx.  Everything about your performance was (in a British accent) bad…James Bad.  Your problem is not the song choices (which are bad by the way).  It is your inability to control your voice.  Man, you have the pipes.  You were not chosen to be in the finals for nothing.  Maybe you just need to take the voice lessons seriously.  That’s what’s disappointing.  You are just giving more proof to Mr. C’s observation:  that you have gone from bad to worse. 

Mau sang “Shy Guy” which was very predictable.  Sweetheart, I am a big fan of yours.  I am fervently wishing that you win.  But you really need to be re-styled and the song choices are affecting your performances which are slowly becoming blah and predictable.  It seems like you do not know who you are when others see what you are and still can be:  a diva in the truest sense.  Guuuurrll, be thankful that I am not there or I would have slapped you with the song choice, the dancing, and the outfit.  What Mamita said is true (although not well put together and tactless).  You said your idol is Queen Latifah.  She is big but she knows how to play with it.  You still are not comfortable with your body and it shows, honey.  How can I contact you?  Shet, gusto kita tulungan talaga.  I am very serious, bakla. 

Gian sang “Rock DJ” which was very suave and cool.  It was okay, I agree with Mr. C.  But Gian, the song has a raunchy nature to it and you did it tame.  That’s why there were some boring parts in the performance.  And taking off the jacket?  Honey, I am sorry but you are not Jan.  I guess a piece of advice would be for you to play around with and make variations on the dashing debonair, boy-next-door image.  You can still surprise the judges and the viewers without veering away too much from your original image.  You have already proven that you are one of the better singers and performers in the competition.  The challenge for you now is HOW TO SUSTAIN THIS. 

Apple sang “Lady Marmalade” and boy did she pull off the stops on that performance!  Great vocal, very appealing to the clubbers and the gay community if I may add!  Apple, if there’s one advice I could give you, stay sexy and sultry which will get you the guy votes…and make song choices that are diva-esque to appeal to the gay men and women out there.  Honey, if incorporating trannies in your performance was your idea?  Snaps on all four corners to you, gurl!!!  I just wished though that you moved forward a little bit and played with them like:  “Move over, bitches!  I am the only diva on this stage!”  Because I agree with Regine, you were upstaged, dahlin’.  One more thing, play more with the audience.  Let go of the inner drag queen in you and you will be soaring like a butterfly through the final 4… 

I love you, guys!  I will not say “keep up the good work”.  I will say “work harder” because the competition is about who can be CONSISTENTLY GOOD and SURPRISING EVERY WEEK.  So far, as a viewer, I do not see anyone has reached this stage yet.

Pasalamat kayo hindi ako kasali or I will definitely give a run for your money…(haughtily walks away…*yan ang diva, Mau…*)

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