There has been a lax use of the term “phobia”. Clinically, a phobia is characterized by an irrational fear of something, associated with shortness of breath, dizziness, palpitation, sweating, and trembling of the muscles. Therefore, when you are just plain afraid of the dark it does not mean you already have a phobia. Okay, I am stalling with the medical mumbo-jumbo. I am going to admit to the entire blog nation that as embarrassing as it may seem due to the fact that I am a grown man, I am terrified of COCKROACHES…(lets out a bloodcurdling scream)
Oh, my loves. Last Holy Thursday, I had a friggin’ panic attack. Details are as follows and are best visualized by imagining me doing a voice-over like how it’s done in old detective movies (while camera slowly zooms in from a bird’s eye view crane shot). DISSOLVE TO:
I was comfortably plopped on my favorite couch watching SA NGALAN NG ANAK on channel 7, Oishi Wasabi Flavor and Coke conveniently within my reach. I was in the middle of sobbing my guts out from the post-suicide sequence of Connie Reyes’ character when suddenly a familiar voice boomed from the deep recesses of our house. Distracted, I looked up and exclaimed, “God, is that you?” (its holy week, its possible.). “Anong God, God??? Magsaing ka na!”, Mother shouted. Disappointed, I unwillingly stomped like a 5-year old on my way to the kitchen. Mumbling while giving the rice a wash, when from my peripheral vision, I saw something moving. I looked down and I saw a swarm…yes, SWARM of cockroaches came out of the drainage and crawled on my left foot. I ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could. I found myself gasping for air, my heart was racing, my hands and knees were trembling, and I was profusely building a sweat. I picked up the phone and called Jher. It was a scene straight out of “An Eye for An Eye”, I wasn’t able to talk, I was just breathing. Jher on the other hand kept on asking what happened. I finally exclaimed…”I got attacked by (empathic pause) COCKROACHES!” (cue eerie musical score)
Uuuh! (shudders) Reminiscing that awful, icky moment just made me nauseous (picking the right cockroach pic for this entry was a dreadful experience). Other cockroach events are as follows:
Cockroach Experience 1
I woke up one night, parched. So I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Half-awake and half-through drinking water when from out of nowhere, this cockroach fluttered towards me. As a reflex action, I threw the glass. The cockroach lived…the glass died, I mean, shattered into pieces.
Cockroach Experience 2
It was one of those dream-filled sleeps. In my dream, a hand was caressing my cheek. Then, it felt like it was pinching me. It got more and more painful. So I woke up. There was a cockroach on my f*%#&@ cheek! After flicking it off my cheek, I spent 3 hours hunting for the damn critter until I finally annihilated it beyond recognition which made me say: “IT’S DEAD. I CAN NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP.”
Feel free to share your cockroach horror stories or irrational fears that you have. Yuck.