That Thing Called…INFIDELITY

I remembered one of my entries here which discussed our capacity to love vis-à-vis our capacity to hate. It was a truly fascinating journey for me to be in a situation where I got to realize that I can hate as much as I can love someone. It is what Neale Donald Walsh said in his book, “Conversations with God”: Everything is just one thing, expressed in different levels. Therefore joy and sorrow are just one feeling expressed in different levels. Just like love and hate being only one emotion, the two occupying both ends of a spectrum. But there is one thing that I would like to explore right now: being unfaithful. What started this introspection despite the fact that I am currently checked in the Love Shack? (hmmm…maybe things aren’t that good in my relationship after all hence this blog…)

At the risk of sounding like Norman Bates in “Psycho”, Mother and I just ended the day by watching a pretty disturbing movie called, A PERFECT MURDER (starring Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Viggo Mortinsen) which tells the story of Emily Taylor who has an affair with an artist, David Shaw. The hot affair was kept a secret until her powerful husband, Stephen Taylor, goes to David initially to discuss about buying the latter’s paintings, later letting the cat out of the bag and saying that he knows about the affair…and about David Shaw’s shady past of conning women to wipe out their savings. The story is then weaved with deceit, manipulation, self-preservation, more lies, and climactically ends with…well, a perfect murder. All stemming from one act of infidelity. This made me think…

Just like love and hate, can someone have the capacity to care for someone as much as hurt them? Can we betray someone as much as love them? If so, is this why some people forgive their partners who betrayed their trust? How far would you go if you find out that your partner cheated on you? Conversely, would you cheat on your partner? What if your partner gave you the “it-was-just-sex-it-didn’t-mean-anything” defense? Would this be more “acceptable”?

Feel free to share stories and your views…personal or heard of.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! (yes, I was being sarcastic.)

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3 Responses to That Thing Called…INFIDELITY

  1. BongA says:

    From out of my mind, and the risk of sounding trite, I do think that infidelity is first and foremost a moral concept. Thus, the psychological, social and cultural contexts of the situation define its antecedents and consequences. If both parties agree to it (like in an open relationship), is it infidelity? Likewise, if one party is not aware of it, and if there are mitigating and aggravating factors (like being away in Danao City while significant other is in Manila), is it infidelity?

    I also think that the values, expectations and the emotional maturity of both parties shape how people react to the situation. I think that the problem is that many people make the mistake of confusing infidelity with the various manifestations of love. I think that these are two related concepts but are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

    In other words, kapag buo ang isang tao at may tiwala sa sarili at sa partner nya, di dapat issue and infidelity. Yun and tingin ko.

  2. jher says:

    lalim ng comment ng lola ko. speaking from experience ba itu?

  3. annabanana says:

    ay that sounds like a great movie. speaking from experience, my dad loves my mom more than he loves life itself, but that didn’t stop him from having numerous affairs (yes,dear numerous!). the funny thing is that mom is the martyr type, and no matter how many times he hurts her, she still finds it in her heart to forgive him and take him back. now they are living separately, but dad just bought a house for her, supports her financially and goes running to her when he is sick. they have a strange relationship that i can’t begin to fathom. how come mom can take this crap from him? and why does he keep on doing it, when he keeps on saying that he never loved another person more than he loves my mom? are they both insane? (waah i’m a product of insane parents!) i don’t know, but for me i think once my hubby decides to go and “sample other fares”—thats it for me, magbalot ka na at maghanap ng magaling na baogado, because ill bleed you dry! 😀
    have agood day, jerome! hugs!

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