Damn! I Think My Boyfriend is Straight!

Eve of my birthday. Best friend, Ely, came with his wife, Ann, Honorary National Geographic Awardee, Mel, and Laguna fag hag, Joy came armed with lovely Goldilocks cake as birthday gift. After dinner, Ely bought Gran Matador to be consumed while watching WWF Raw. I personally don’t like what I call “the most absurd theatrical production of all time” because it insults my intelligence that a lot of people are suckered into believing that what they do is a sport. Sure they get hurt (I think) and sometimes bleed but puh-leeeaaaassse! Anyway, to my surprise, Boyfriend was into it and even was cheering with Ely and Mel! The testosterone-charged three chugged down shots of Gran Ma and feasted on Boy Bawang while raving about wrestlers and their killer moves. Jerome educated me and walked me through while I sat with the “wives” who patiently waited for their husbands finish having their fun. The scene was taken straight out of a 16th century portrait…men with cigars talking about “man” stuff while the ladies have their tea in their petticoats engaging in chatter about silver, china, draperies, and gardening…desperately trying to be supportive of their husbands. (sighs) I mustered some strength to digest names like Randy Ortonn, Muhammad Hussein (who was so cute!), John Cena (who’s even cuter!), Booker T, The Big Show, Hurricane, Undertaker, and Chris Benoit. Boyfriend even walked me through their killer moves, i.e., the Pedigree, RKO, chokeslam, the Figure Four, etc. But…okay, okay. I’m gonna play supportive and involved “girlfriend”…

gulps…

…watches Royal Rumble…

…finds myself rolling eyes almost every minute…

…gives up…

…returns to the “wives table” (and drools over John Cena and Muhammad Hussein *kilig*)…

…glances at boyfriend high-fiving with my straight friends…

…thinks…

…boyfriend’s very techie, leaves clothes in a pile, a left-brainer, loves gadgets, crazy about cars, invests on T3 magazine, loves basketball and routes for Ginebra…

…cloud callout appears: “Shet! I think my boyfriend’s straight!”